Director: Fred Goss — Writer: Hilary Winston — Aired: January 27, 2011 —Season: Two — Number: Thirteen Summary: Pierce bribes Annie for a larger role in a play while Jeff uses Britta's phone to send dirty texts.
The study group is practising their parts in full costume for a play Annie is putting on. They all start to complain about their roles which makes Annie remind them why they are putting on the show in the first place. It's supposed to be for the sake of promoting an anti-drug message to a few kids. Dean Pelton shows up to check on their progress and informs them that many students from San Ramon Middle School will be showing up tomorrow to watch their play. Annie notices he is wearing a costume and wonders if he wants to be in the play as well. Pelton replies that the outfit he is wearing is for a meeting at the airport Ramada.
Later, Britta is complaining to Jeff about a guy she's seeing that keeps texting her. Jeff tells her it's the modern day flirting ritual, but she says she personally doesn't care for it. Meanwhile, Chang tries to talk to Shirley but is ignored when she walks out of the study room with Britta. Outside, Pierce catches up with Annie and, unhappy with the non-speaking role of "Drugs", tries to convince her to give him a bigger part in the play. Annie reminds him the show isn't about one character but the anti-drug message. Back in the study room, Jeff and Abed notice that Britta left her phone behind and that she received a text from someone named Marcus. Jeff decides to send a flirtatious text back to the texter in Britta's name; he brushes off Abed's concerns that this could be a bad idea.
Jeff decides to send a flirtatious text on Britta's phone to someone named "Marcus".
Elsewhere, Pierce is shadowing Annie and notices that she is collecting aluminum cans around campus. After watching her trade the cans for cash at a recycling center, he continues to follow Annie's car to her home and knocks on her door. When she lets him in, he expresses shock that she would live in such a bad neighborhood in an apartment above a Dildopolis location. Annie explains that this is all she can afford on her savings as her parents cut her off financially after her past drug problem. Pierce offers to help her out and writes out a check. Annie is reluctant at first to accept it, but he insists, and she thanks Pierce for his generosity. Pierce then hints to her about his part in the play, and she encourages him to use a line he ad-libbed during the rehearsal.
Pierce actually does something nice for once.
Later, Pierce watches an old Hawthorne Wipes commercial starring his father, Cornelius Hawthorne. Despite his earlier claims to have been in the commercial, it turns out his father chose a child actor to play the part of his son rather then Pierce. The next day, the study group is in the student lounge about to put on the play for the school kids in the cafeteria. Pierce arrives with a rewritten script and guilts Annie into implementing more of his changes into the play by reminding her of the money he gave her. The Dean tries to pump up the audience for the play by handing out free baseballs, but they remain unenthusiastic. Backstage, Chang tries again to connect with Shirley, but she continues to ignore him.
"Welcome to the Greendale Drug Awareness Show!"
Britta mentions to Jeff that her nephew Marcus is attending the play, and he realizes he made a mistake; this becomes even more apparent when Britta shows him a text Marcus sent included with this emoticon: 8=>. Jeff goes to Abed looking for help but instead finds him unsympathetic to his situation. Jeff tries to correct his mistake by sending Marcus more texts, but it only ends up encouraging the boy to continue sexting. As the play begins, Pierce gets a good response from a line he improvised. Backstage, Chang again tries to talk to Shirley. She explains she wants nothing to do with him because he's crazy, and the thought of her having been with him and possibly having a child by him is too much for her to handle.
"Cool Cat Jeff's" funeral.
Back on stage, a pivotal scene is ruined by Pierce who goes off-script and steals the spotlight away with his buffoonery. Britta is worried that the anti-drug message of the play is being lost on the kids but Annie allows Pierce to continue his improvisions. The audience end up liking the character so much that they pelt the other study group members with baseballs when Pierce's character leaves the stage. Pierce demands that Annie allow him to return despite the fact that his part in the play is over. He reminds her about the check he gave her, and she relents. When he returns, the audience immediately cheers for him, and one of the kids actually declares her love for "Drugs" much to Annie's horror. During intermission, Pierce returns backstage in the student lounge euphoric over how popular he is with the kids.
The audience pelts the cast with a baseballs.
Annie finally stands up to him and fires him, disgusted with how he twisted the message of her play. Before leaving, an angry Pierce reveals to everyone how he bribed Annie into changing the script. The study group expresses their disappointment over Annie selling out her ideas for money and she runs away in tears. Dean Pelton then informs them that the kids are all riled up and chanting for "Drugs". Everyone plans to bail but Jeff insists they stay and try to salvage the situation for the kid's sake. Chang then appears ready to take on the "Drugs" role for the second act. When the play starts up again, Chang covers him replacing Pierce by stating how drugs lures you in nicely and then changes on you dominating your life. He punctuates this by insulting the audience upsetting them enough that a boy yells "Let's kill him!" and they attack him en masse.
"Greetings you little snots!"
Annie and the Dean watch on pleased that the message got through to the kids. Meanwhile, Jeff confronts Marcus and tells him he was the one who sent the text messages not his aunt. Marcus tells him he'll keep it secret for a price: Britta's bra. Afterwards, Shirley praises Chang for how he handled the kids. After apologizing for how she had been treating him lately the other study group members arrive and congratulate Chang on a job well done. Annie shows up too and apologizes for her actions which leads to a group hug. She notices Pierce sneaking in to grab his bags and tells him that while appreciates the gesture she can't take his money. She doesn't want to be dependent on him like she was with her parents nor does she want to be another person taking advantage of him. She tells him she is going to get a job and assures him that despite what happened they are still friends.
Recurring or debuting running gags in this episode:
Biggest laugh of the night!: Troy takes a baseball to the face.
Board certified tutor: Pierce claims to have previous acting experience having played himself in a few "Hawthorne Wipes" commercials as a child, but it's revealed that he did poorly at the audition and his father replaced him with an actor.
Deanotation: Pelton greets the group with the salutation "Dean dong!".
Man crush: Dean Pelton finds Jeff Winger sexy even in a coffin. Later, he steals a framed photo of Jeff in his cool cat outfit from the funeral scene.
Product placement: Dean Pelton hopes the visiting middle schoolers will buy all the "Charleston Chews" from the school vending machines. He also mention that his bee outfit has something to do with his plans at the airport Ramada Inn.
Shout out: Chang gives a mix-tape to Shirley that contains a heavy dose of Johnny Gill.
Current events: All the children attending the drug awareness were given baseballs. Dean Pelton explains, "Next time you think about drugs, think about baseball instead." At the time there were many Major League Baseball players implicated in various steroid scandals.
Up against the wall: Dean Pelton accidentally describes Annie's story arc when he recaps the drug awareness play.
“Annie, question: Is Pierce marijuana, and does marijuana help people work faster? I thought it just made them custom paint their vans and solve mysteries.”— Abed
“What are you doing here?”— Annie
“Never mind that, there's a rapist in the hallway.”— Pierce
“That's my landlord, and if he wanted you raped you'd be raped.”— Annie
“Let me ask you a question or two of my own. What are you doing in an apartment above Dildopolis? And when did they open a second location?”— Pierce
“Come on, Annie. You and I are alike. We're independent. We need each other.”— Pierce
“Okay, guys, remember, the most important thing is to have fun. The second most important thing is to know all your lines and all your blocking and not mess up a single thing. Actually, flip those.”— Annie