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Chicken fingers

  Chicken fingers  
First appearance: Contemporary American PoultryOwned by: Greendale — Used by: Star-Burns, The Study Group, Garrett
Purpose: Trade for special favors— Made by: breading chicken and deep fat frying it   PHOTO ICON


If God were edible, not that I'm Catholic, but if it were cool to eat God, he'd be a Chicken finger.
Troy, "Contemporary American Poultry".

Deep fat frying
Chicken fingers being fried.
The most popular item on the cafeteria menu at Greendale, Chicken Fingers eventually became more than just a culinary delight for the student body: it became an addiction. The desire for this breaded poultry and deep fat fried concoction created an opportunity- seized by Abed Nadir- to create a syndicate and take control of its distribution. The food's first appearance was in the Season One episode "Contemporary American Poultry".


Season One[]

In 2010 the campus of Greendale became obsessed with the cafeteria's chicken fingers. This inadvertently led to the creation of a powerful organization that for a time ruled over the school. It began when a disbarred attorney, who was the head of a family, had a beef with a facia bruta who was hoarding the chicken fingers for himself and a select privileged few. The Don convinced his associates to stop playing by the rules and proposed that they dispose of this mortadella. This way they could replace him with one of their own so that they could have their fair share of the wealth. His powers of persuasion easily convinced the rest of the crew which included a divorcee, an ex-jock, a recovering addict, a figurehead C.E.O., a former activist and a young turk.

BW Greendale sign
The addiction spread throughout the campus.
For this assignment, the disbarred attorney decide to use his most trusted consigliere to act as the mole. The crew implemented his plan flawlessly, and the young turk took over distribution of the chicken fingers once the facia bruta was taken out. Unfortunately, by putting that cugine in the position of power over the chicken fingers he also handed him control over the crew as well. Agita set in when the disbarred lawyer found out his trusted consigliere was doing something off the record. The wise guy was skimming chicken fingers to bribe an associate. However, when the arrangement was shown to be beneficial to the crew, the disbarred lawyer found himself chased out. The young turk became the new boss and created a borgata utilizing the talents of his crew.

Starburns mugshot
The facia bruta.
This new organization began lording it over the rest of the empty suits on campus and enjoying the spoils that their new Capo di tutti capi rewarded them with. An unexpected ally came to the disbarred lawyer with a plan which could possibly take down the new boss. Despite the ousted Don's dislike of the jamook he reluctantly accepted his help which was a key to the cafeteria's kitchen. Meanwhile the crew stopped showing the proper respect to their new leader. Having the power and influence, along with wearing it was not enough for them. Each wiseguy began to have an eat alone attitude making more outrageous demands and forgetting their place within the outfit. The new boss wasn't having any of it and went completely oobatz.

BW organization
A candid photo of the organization taken years later.
He decided a mock execution was called for and none of the capos were spared: The recovering addict's prize possession was mutilated almost beyond recognition, the ex-jock's beloved pet was set free from its cage and let loose, the C.E.O. 's entertainment supply was abruptly and summarily cut off, the ex-activist was put into a messy situation when her locks were gummed up, and the divorcee was forced to watch her latest love betray her. After the shakedown, all the capos in desperation sought out the help of their former Boss in fear of what their new Don might do next. They renewed their fealty to the disbarred lawyer and he assured them he would resolve the matter. That night, he snuck into the cafeteria kitchen using the key the facia bruta gave him and was surprised to find the young turk there.

BW Abed mafia
The Consigliere later role played as a capo.
His replacement explained he was trying to figure out the next culinary delight believing that Chicken fingers were a passing fad. He was motivated to do this because this endeavor helped him connect and understand people. The disbarred attorney felt sympathy for his former consigliere's situation. He confessed his plan and offered that they put aside all that happened to make a marraige. This time he would help him connect with others while his successor would teach him to treat them better. To seal the deal they reenacted a scene from the movie "Sixteen Candles". Afterwards the chicken fingers borgata was replaced with a babbo and a Mustache Pete. The young turk later recounted the events to a fanook authority figure who was investigating another crime ("Contemporary American Poultry").

B&W Greendale logo
The events depicted here actually occurred.
The names were changed to protect the innocent.


Mafia terms glossary[]

  • agita: Anxiety, edginess, worry.
  • associate: One who works with mobsters, but hasn't been confirmed, or become a made man.
  • babbo: A dope, idiot, useless underling.
  • beef: A complaint or disagreement within the organization, usually discussed during a sit-down with higher-ups in the Family.
  • boss: The head of the Family who runs the show.
  • borgata: A crime Family; brugad.
  • broken: Demoted in rank; "knocked down."
  • chased: To be banished from the Mafia and barred from associating or doing business with any made members. The punishment is merciful in that the offender is spared death.
  • cugine: A young soldier lower rank in the mob looking to be made.
  • consigliere: An adviser, especially to a crime boss.
  • Capo di tutti capi: See "Boss".
  • Don: See "Boss".
  • eat alone: To be greedy.
  • empty suits: Someone with nothing to offer who tries to hang around with mobsters.
  • facia bruta: Ugly face, something you call someone you don't like.
  • fanook: Prejorative term for a person who engages in an alternative lifestyle.
  • family: An organized crime clan.
  • jamook: Idiot, loser.
  • make a marriage: Form a business partnership.
  • mock execution: To whip someone into shape by scaring the crap out of them.
  • Mustache Petes: Old fashioned or older generation Mafiosi.
  • mortadella: Derived from the Italian sausage, meaning a loser.
  • oobatz: Crazy.
  • off the record: An action taken without the knowledge or approval of the Family.
  • organization: See "Family".
  • outfit: See "Family".
  • shakedown: To give someone a scare.
  • swag: Stolen goods.
  • young turk: Younger, less traditional generation of Mafiosi. Less likely to live by the old rules.
  • wearing it: Showing off one's status in the organization by dressing the part.
  • wise guy: A made guy.

External links[]

  1. Mafia speak
  2. Italian Mob Lingo
  3. Mob speak