In "Paradigms of Human Memory", it was revealed that the study group filled in for the Glee Club when the previous members died in a tragic bus accident. When the latest club becomes incapacitated in "Regional Holiday Music", the study group refuses Mr. Radisson's request to replace them once more. Abed becomes his ally however and resolves to convince the rest of the group, starting with Troy. Abed figures out a way of allowing him to participate in the upcoming Christmas pageant while remaining respectful of his faith as a Jehovah's Witness...
The song with lyrics[]
Lyrics
(Intro)
Abed:
What if you were a Jehovah's witness
That was merely pretending to be into Christmas?
Gathering clues and blending in
To take down the holidays from within?
Troy:
You mean like a spy investigating?
Making it seem like I'm celebrating-
when actually I'm infiltrating
Santa's operation?
(Rap)
YOIP!
Going deep cover past enemy lines,
Making everybody think I'm on the christ-a-mas side,
Rockin' warm sweaters,
Hangin' big ass lights,
If the fat man could see me yo it's gotta look right
I'll watch all the TV specials that I never could,
I'll even cry during the sad ones like James Bond would
And when the big night comes it's time to set the bait,
Cold milk, hot cookies,
Decorative plates!
And he'll come down the chi-muh-ney
And it will be just him and me
But he won't know we're enemies
'cause I'll play sincere
Bring a trap, like that,
Hug him tight, get on his lap
And tell him he can come back every year.
'Cause I am Jehovah's most secret witness
So I might have to dedicate my life to Christmas
And act just like I love it 'til the day I die
A-B-E-D
Connoisseur of Christmas
On the spectrum? None of your business
Thoughts too fast to comprehend
Just wanna do right
By my friend
If years were seasons, this December
Would be the December
Of our December
More blueprints than Howard Hughes,
But if there are blueprints,
How do we choose?
We have to be happy to get to the end,
We have to save Christmas to save our friends--
We have to save Christmas to save our friends,
We have to save Christmas to save our friends.
Trivia[]
Inspiration[]
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