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Script This page is a transcript for the Season Six episode Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television.


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Cold open[]

6x13 Elroy says goodbye   

Summary: Summer break arrives for the students at Greendale

Scenes:

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Cold open, Scene 1[]

Script

Featuring: Leonard, Greendale student body.
Setting: Greendale Community College.

Leonard: School's out, bitches!

[As students celebrate the start of summer vacation several campus locations are shown including the library entrance area, the outside of the administration office, the library receptionist area, an empty cafeteria and the teachers offices while Dean Pelton gives an address over the P.A. system]

Dean Pelton: Congratulations, Greendale students! We've pulled off another year and we're still standing. Take that, health inspector, building inspector, foundation inspector, water line inspector, geologist, exterminator, plumber, and dad. Ha ha ha ha ha!

Cold open, Scene 2[]

Script

Featuring: Jeff, Britta, Annie Abed, Chang, Frankie and Dean Pelton.
Setting: The Vatican.

Jeff: Abed. Why bring a metronome?

Abed: I thought the sound might accentuate the anxious idleness of our last meeting's final seconds.

Jeff: Good job, bad idea.

Frankie: Okay, that is done.

Britta: Yeah!

Annie: Yay!

Frankie: There's more! This one is exciting. We have to rename the Save Greendale committee, due to the fact that Greendale is done being saved!

Chang: You think that's more exciting than summer?

Frankie: Oh, am I stealing your rays, dude? Come on, it's neat! Our mission is finally accomplished, once and for all, so what do we call ourselves now?

Jeff: The accomplishers.

Britta: The obsoletists.

Abed: Steven King's dreamcatchers.

Annie: Susan.

Frankie: You guys are rebelling against yourselves. You get that, right?

Elroy: The current trend in branding is unique, simplistic, phonetically memorable gibberish. How about nipple dippers?

Jeff: I like nipple dippers.

Abed: Ooh, nippledippers.com is available.

Elroy: Grab that mother.

Abed: Done.

Annie: Nipple dippers, listen up. Text from the dean. "Don't leave yet, I'm almost there. Special celebration. Just finished entire semester without wearing a single silly outfit."

Britta: Oh. I didn't even notice. Good for him.

Dean Pelton: Oh, oh. Hey everybody! I made it! Obviously, I binged pretty hard there after the bell rang but, I made it! Are you guys going out to celebrate or something? Maybe I'll tag along, it's been a tough year, I could use a drink.

Jeff: We were gonna to Britta's bar whenever Mother time is willing to call it a year.

Frankie: Okay fine, we're done, happy summer.

Britta: Nipple dippers drink for free!

Frankie: I'll pay for my drinks, I'm not acknowledging that title.

Abed: Someone owes me ten bucks for the domain.

Elroy: I won't be able to join you. I gotta get on the road to California. I got a job through LinkedIn.

Annie: What? That's crazy! People use LinkedIn?

Elroy: No, LinkedIn hired me to help figure out why people don't use it. Also, I have an old lady friend I went to high school with who just became un-married last week and I thought I'd look her up.

Jeff: Wow, you work fast. Or actually, very slow.m Either way, good luck.

Abed: Are you coming back Elroy?

Elroy: I think so. Probably, maybe. Have a great summer.


Act 1[]

6x13 Shirley and Frankie   

Summary: The gang theorizes on what the next semester/season might be like.

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Act 1, Scene 1[]

Script

Featuring: Jeff, Britta, Abed, Frankie, Chang and Dean Pelton.
Setting: The Vatican.

Abed: You guys think bars scene always have to start at a billiards shot? Or do you think every time someone takes a shot a in billiards they start a new bar scene without knowing it?

Frankie: What?

Jeff: You can just say shut up Abed.

Britta: Okay, ask me if I'm coming back.

Dean Pelton: Are you coming back?

Brits: [Imitating Elroy] Yeah. Probably. Maybe. [Regular voice] I mean what was that, right?

Jeff: That was an Irish goodbye. Let's give it an Irish wake. Six years guys.

Chang: Nipple dippers!

Everyone: Nipple dippers!

Chang: Where's Annie? I mean no offense to you guys but she's the only one that gets me.

Dean Pelton: She said she had an interview...?

Britta: Six years. Six seasons, right Abed?

Jeff: Don't put a nickel in him.

Frankie: Stop mitigating everyone. So Abed, what happens in season seven?

Chang: Oh, man.

Abed: I don't know how likely season seven is. I mean, what show ever peaks after season six?

Chang: Simpsons, Seinfeld, South Park, Friends...

Abed: Those shows weren't hemorrhaging characters every year.

Dean Pelton: Oh, I don't like that word, hemorrhaging.

Frankie: I'll...see...what I can do...?

Britta: What if Shirley came back, would that change your disposition?

Abed: Shirley could get us back on formula, but I don't see it turning us around.

Frankie: Sorry, what's our formula?

Abed: Well, basically...

Act 1, Scene 2[]

Script

Featuring: Jeff, Britta, Annie, Abed, Chang and Dean Pelton.
Setting: Group Study Room F.

[Cut to Abed's pitch with a quick opening intro that leads to The Save Greendale Committee in the study room. Shirley is back but Elroy is missing.]

Jeff: I have a placeholder so set up it makes analogies look like punchlines.

Britta: My setup lacks awareness, but my punchline doesn't know.

Jeff: Amusingly cynical one liner dismissing everything you said.

Britta: Absurd reaction!

Annie: You guys, can we put a pin in the B-Story and focus on the A-Story?

Shirley: I don't trust A-Stories, never had never will. I had a set-up about a story that was so placeholder the punchline came five words early. I can tag it too.

Annie: Ooooh! (Hi-fives Shirley)

Frankie: I'll just take a moment to explain the risks involved in all decisions made from here until eternity.

Shirley: Who the hell are you?

Frankie: I'm Frankie Dart.

Shirley: Is this combination going to work?

Frankie: Not my place to say. Abed?

[Abed is unresponsive and seems to be having a seizure]

Chang: Lizard, fire hydrant, Obama...CHANG!!!

[Dean Pelton walks in wearing only a diaper.]

Act 1, Scene 3[]

Script

Featuring: Jeff, Britta, Abed, Frankie, Chang and Dean Pelton.
Setting: The Vatican.

[Cut back to The Vatican]

Dean Pelton: You know, I put time into what I do wardrobe wise.

Abed: Yeah see, Shirley, no Shirley, what does it matter, right?

Britta: Abed, we're not formulas, and if I had no self-awareness, I think I'd know.

Abed: Things have a certain structure to them, you know? If we stray from it, we're weird, if we stick to it, we're boring.

Dean Pelton Yeah, but isn't that more about the shape of your brain, Abed? I mean, no offense or anything, but isn't the shape of your brain kinda fucked up?

Abed: Hmm. What's your season seven pitch?

Dean Pelton: My pitch for your fall semester at Greendale is that everyone is nice and has fun and grows together.

Abed: Shirley or Elroy?

Dean Pelton: See, that's racist, man. Shirley or Elroy? That's racist. How about they both come back? How about there's a whole third black person?

Abed:Where do they all sit?

Dean Pelton: They well they sit wherever they want to sit, as of the 1960s. They sit...they sit...

Abed: Just pitch it.

Jeff: Don't pitch it.

Dean Pelton: I'm pitching it.

Act 1, Scene 4[]

Script

Featuring: Jeff, Britta, Annie, Shirley, Elroy, Abed, Chang, Dean Pelton and unnamed background character.
Setting: Group Study Room F.

[Cut to Dean Pelton's pitch for a new Save Greendale Committee with Shirley, Elroy and a third unnamed African-American in the study room]

Annie: Guess what? I made something...I made a belt with fabric. How cute is that?

Jeff: Well, I think that's very cute, so oh, and I love you guys.

Brita: I've got, I'm angry and you should vote or don't vote.

Elroy: Sweet! Hallelujah! These are good times, baby.

Shirley: Good times girl, good times.

Chang: Hey, I thought of something. You know, we should go to the...to the...to the...to, to the market.

Abed: Yeah, we should. Well, wouldn't that be like a thing we saw, and didn't we do that? So shouldn't we be more ashamed and clever? And make everything more difficult?

Britta: Yes, and I think we should be deeply sad.

Chang: And I'm nuts.

Shirley: But I'm happy.

Elroy: And I'm happy too.

Shirley and Elroy: And you know, hallelujah, and church, and singing, and street wisdom.

[Jeff stands up and takes off his shirt. Dean Pelton is sitting at then table wearing a Father Time costume. Jeff takes Pelton's hand and places it on his abs.]

Act 1, Scene 5[]

Script

Featuring: Jeff, Britta, Abed, Frankie, Chang and Dean Pelton.
Setting: The Vatican.

[Cut back to The Vatican]

Jeff: Stop!

Britta: Crazy, and racist, and terrible!

Chang: I agree. You're being way too linear about this. Shirley, Elroy, Troy, Hickey, living in the past. Season seven don't need no past.

Dean Pelton: What are you pitching?

Jeff: Don't pitch!

Chang: This is my pitch.

Act 1, Scene 6[]

Script

Featuring: Jeff, Britta, Annie, Abed, Frankie, Chang, Dean Pelton and Ice Block Head.
Setting: Group Study Room F.

[Cut to Chang's pitch with The Save Greendale Committee in the study room]

Frankie: All right, that includes all notes and business as it pertains to the files. How are you guys doing?

Jeff: Babe, how you doing, girl?

Britta: I'm cool, it's all good.

Jeff: Annie, you're looking fine.

Annie: Thank you.

Ice Cube Head: Hey, what about me? Hey everybody, look at me! I'm Ice Cube Head! I've got an ice cube for a head. I also eat cell phones, so you better be careful with those cellphones about me, because they taste like prime rib where I'm from. Oh ho ho, boy. Imagine the times we'll all get in together, especially when I use my powers to help solve all your problems. PCHOOO!

[Ice Cube Head shoots a beam from his finger that hits Jeff which makes him laugh]

Ice Cube Head: PCHOOO!

[Ice Cube Head shoots a beam from his finger that hits Britta which makes her laugh]

Ice Cube Head: PCHOOO!

[Ice Cube Head shoots a beam from his finger that hits Chang which makes him laugh]

Ice Cube Head: PCHOOO!

[Ice Cube Head shoots a beam from his finger that hits Frankie which makes her laugh]

Ice Cube Head: PCHOOO!

[Ice Cube Head shoots a beam from his finger that hits Abed which makes him laugh]

Ice Cube Head: PCHOOO!

[Ice Cube Head shoots a beam from his finger that hits Annie which makes her laugh]

Ice Cube Head: PCHOOO! PCHOO!

[As Ice Cube Head continues to fire beams, Dean Pelton enters the study room wearing only a diaper and begins to dance]

Ice Cube Head: Whoa whoa whoa whoa, it's getting crazy in here!

Act 1, Scene 7[]

Script

Featuring: Jeff, Britta, Annie, Abed, Frankie, Chang and Dean Pelton.
Setting: The Vatican.

[Chang is acting out his pitch by acting like Ice Cube Head and pretending to be shooting beams from his finger as Dean Pelton is dancing behind him]

Jeff: All right, I'm going home.

Chang: What?

Jeff: Guys, we just finished year six, and it was hard work. And I don't really care about Greendale. And I don't wanna spend my brief moment of humanity doing conceptual riffs, developing the imaginary TV show of our lives. By the way, terrible improve. Ice cube head? You were just looking at your drink.

Chang: Busted.

Jeff: Annie?

Jeff: I got the internship. I got the internship! nI'm gonna intern for the FBI. I'll leave in a week. I'll be in DC all summer.

Britta: You're leaving the nest. Can I have your bedroom? If you don't come back, if you don't come back.

Annie: Well, I'm definitely coming back, probably. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Act 1, Scene 8[]

Script

Featuring: Jeff, Vicki, Garrett, Leonard, Dave, Todd and Scrunch.
Setting: Group Study Room F.

Jeff: Okay, next order of business.

Vicki: Mr. Winger, Garrett's holding Leonard's hand again.

Jeff: Garrett, stop doing that.

Garrett: I'm checking for a pulse.

Leonard: Say, hands off the Leonard dice.

Todd: Question, when can we start the next paintball game?

Dave: I don't think you can force it.

Todd: Lots of things can be forced, like a human head through a six-inch drain pipe.

Dave: ...What?

Todd: Just kidding, pal.

Jeff: Okay, did anyone on the Sustain Greendale committee do any of their assignments this week. Scrunch?

Scrunch: Sorry, bro. I don't work for you. You work for me. I'm the tech billionaire that bought this dump and cuts your paycheck.

Leonard: If you can call that a paycheck. I've seen more zeroes over Pearl Harbor. There were hundreds of them. The sky was black with smoke bombs.

Scrunch: Double click this, Winger. It's your job to work. It is our job to party.

Vicki: And hatch harebrained schemes.

Dave: And get laid.

Scrunch: And get laid.

Todd: And eventually leave you here as well.

Act 1, Scene 9[]

Script

Featuring: Jeff, Britta, Annie, Abed, Frankie, Chang and Dean Pelton
Setting: The Vatican

Annie: Jeff, you okay?

Jeff: Huh? Oh, I, I was taken aback. It's big news.

Annie: What have you guys been doing?

Jeff: We were just looking for ways to make season seven work. I mean we've got through six seasons. I mean what's up with that? Where's season seven? I mean we gotta figure out season seven.

Abed: Or maybe we could just hang out.

Act 2[]

6x13 Promopic 3   

Summary: Jeff is determined to figure out a next semester/season that includes everyone.

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Act 2, Scene 1[]

Script

Featuring: Jeff, Britta, Annie, Abed, Chang, Dean Pelton.
Setting: Group Study Room F.

Jeff: Sorry I'm late. Last night was so insane, it made the insane clown posse look like the well-adjusted clown posse.

Britta: It must be hard work running away from your own age. Has anyone seen my e-cigarette?

Jeff: There should be a charity for people like you.

Britta: Thank you.

Annie: I don't know if can keep making the commute from here to the FBI headquarters. Britta, Abed, I'll have to move back in.

Chang: I moved in with them.

Annie: Chang, we have files.

Chang: I'm moving out.

Jeff: You seem stressed, Annie. Are those last few criminology credits you need hard to get at Greendale?

Annie: Please. The only credit that it's hard to get at Greendale is from a bank. It's just, they have schools for this kind of stuff at Quantico. Being with you guys is great, but why is this a good choice for me? Why doesn't the audience feel sorry for me?

Dean Pelton: Britta, your parents have been murdered.

Britta: By whom?

Dean Pelton: The police won't touch it. They're calling it a double su1c1de.

Annie: Britta, I got this.

Act 2, Scene 2[]

Script

Featuring: Jeff, Britta, Annie, Abed, Frankie, Chang and Dean Pelton.
Setting: The Vatican.

Jeff: You're proposing a version of the show in which Annie comes back, and it hinges on the murder of my parents.

Jeff: It's a placeholder. I'm just saying there's always gonna be a need for law at Greendale. You remember the Ass Crack Bandit?

Annie: Do I remember? I mean. Doesn't everybody. Could have been anybody.

Dean Pelton: What is with this diaper thing? Is it about shaming me?

Britta: Do you really want a bunch of people dressing you?

Dean Pelton: It would be polite to try.

Abed: It's nice to see you interested in this stuff, Jeff, but I wouldn't watch that season.

Britta: Me, neither. You wanna know a perfect season seven?

Act 2, Scene 3[]

Script

Featuring: Jeff, Britta, Annie, Abed, Frankie, Chang, Dean Pelton.
Setting: Group Study Room F.

Britta: Well, guess what Senator? You were allowed to call us terrorists before we moved to international waters, but we're a nation now. So I guess this is fucking war. Annie, I'm gonna need you to go to Washington.

Annie: I'm scared.

Britta: Be more scared than that.

Dean Pelton: Britta. The protesters are scared. They need you to talk to them.

Britta: They should be scared, but they shouldn't need a leader to tell them what to do. We're all born free into a world of lies. But let's talk about you for a second, though.

Dean Pelton: Well, I'm not a joke anymore. I'm strictly transgender. I'm not all this other stuff. I represent the transgender community, and it's a real thing. I am not crazy, but I do have flaws. I'm smart...

Act 2, Scene 4[]

Script

Featuring: Jeff, Britta, Abed, Frankie, Chang and Dean Pelton.
Setting: The Vatican.

Dean Pelton: ...All this other stuff? Glad to be of service, Britta. I want my diaper back.

Frankie: I don't even own a TV and I wouldn't watch that.

Britta: Oh yeah, what's your pitch?

Frankie: Oh, well I, I mean, it's not that complicated is it?

Act 2, Scene 5[]

Script

Featuring: Jeff, Britta, Annie, Abed, Frankie, Chang and Dean Pelton.
Setting: Group Study Room F.


[The Committee are sitting quietly and smiling at each other]

Jeff: Hello.

Brita, Dean Pelon, Annie, Abed and Chang: Hello.

Frankie: Hello.

Jeff: How's everyone?

Britta: Hello.

Annie: I have...We could learn about science or history it's set in a school, after all. Why aren't we learning?

[The Committee continue to smile]

Annie:...And I know that's not enough, so....

[Annie geestures to Chang who farts]

Chang: And so on.

Act 2, Scene 6[]

Script

Featuring: Jeff, Britta, Annie, Abed, Frankie, Chang and Dean Pelton.
Setting: The Vatican.


Jeff, Britta, Annie, Abed, Chang and Dean Pelton: BOO!!!

Frankie: It's possible there is more skill to it than I thought.

Britta: YES! YES! YES!

Abed: There is skill to it. More importantly, it has to be joyful, effortless, fun. TV defeats its own purpose when it's pushing an agenda, or trying to defeat other TV or being proud or ashamed of itself for existing. It's TV, it's comfort. It's a friend you've known so well, and for so long you just let it be with you and it needs to be okay for it to have a bad day or phone in a day. And it needs to be okay for it to get on a boat with Levar Burton and never come back. Because eventually, it all will.

( Britta stars crying )

Abed: I'm fine.

Britta: I know. It's not just that. It's just such a classic mistake but...I got really attached to my pitch. I had a sound track in my head and everything.

Jeff: Well I agree with Abed. And I have an effortless pitch.

Abed: Mm.

Act 2, Scene 7[]

Script

Featuring: Jeff, Britta, Annie, Abed, Frankie, Chang, Dean Pelton.
Setting: Teachers' lounge.


Dean Pelton: So, how's this semesters crop of apples looking?

Chang: Bruised but not rotten. Asian kid in my math class doesn't want to study because he doesn't want to be a stereotype. It's pretty funny.

Abed: Sounds like a strong B story. And I can say that without throwing anyone because I teach TV appreciation.

Britta: Chang you can send that student to me and we'll make it more serious. I’m the school shrink I can wear these glasses every episode.

Chang: You are super hot in them.

Abed: Yeah.

Annie: Very hot.

Frankie: Mm-hm. This gives me a more solid reason to interact with you than a stupid committee. By the way I'm a lesbian. That's why I haven't hit on Jeff.

All: Oh!

Annie: Here's my deal, I teach criminology. But look, it's the original Annie. ( Shows off cardigan and skirt )

All: Ah!

Annie: But I'm grown up and I'm hot, but not little girl hot. And I'm happy and we're all together and it makes sense.

Dean Pelton: We just might live the good life yet.

( Dean Jeff enters the lounge )

All: DEAN!

Dean Pelton: DEAN JEFFREY!

Chang: DEAN WINGER!

Jeff: Dean, I told you not to come into the teachers lounge, you're supposed to be in dean class.

Dean Pelton: How can I learn to be dean if I can't hang out with teachers?

Jeff: Ah, We're supposed to be shaping minds, but we keep shaping each other. Bring it in.

Act 2, Scene 8[]

Script

Featuring: Jeff, Britta, Annie, Abed, Frankie, Chang and Dean Pelton.
Setting: The Vatican.

Dean Pelton: In this version, will you tell me what to do a lot?

Chang: Am I on meds in it? I'm mellow and relatable. I like it.

Annie: I would love to teach at Greendale, and I do miss wearing skirts.

Abed: Once you swallow the horse pill sized contrivance, it would open up new areas and dynamics. And it's evergreen.

Jeff: Well great that's settled. How do we make it real? Annie, maybe you should start looking into education classes. You too, Abed.

Abed: Well, I should probably tell you guys that I'm moving to Los Angeles.

Jeff: What?

Abed: Yeah, like a real TV executive I was letting you guys work your ass off, because there's no profit in saying no to an idea, but now that it's time for me to commit I have to pass. I got a job as a PA on a Fox show, it's in a video game studio. It's like 30 Rock, meets IT Crowd, meets, well me, I'm growin' up

Annie: AWWW!

Dean Pelton: Congratulations Abed.

Britta: That's so great Abed, I'm so happy for you.

Jeff: But you're coming back right?

Abed: Maybe. Probably...Maybe.

Jeff: But six seasons and a movie.

Abed: Jeff I know it comforts you to look at things through that meta lens, but this is reality. TV's rules aren't based on common sense. They're based on the studio wanting to milk their properties dry.

Britta: Here here. Cheers to that and cheers to Abed.

All: Cheers!

Act 2, Scene 9[]

Script

Featuring: Jeff, multiple Abeds
Setting: Group Study Room F.

[ Jeff is strangling multiple Abed clones one by one who are seated around the study room table ]

Act 2, Scene 10[]

Script

Featuring: Jeff, Britta, Annie, Abed, Frankie, Chang and Dean Pelton.
Setting: The Vatican.

[Jeff suddenly gets up and walks out of the bar without a word]

Dean Pelton: What, Jeffrey...

Frankie: Hey...?

[Annie looks on concerned at Jeff's sudden exit. Meanwhile Chang farts]

Chang: ...And so on.

Act 3[]

6x13 Jeff returns to the study room.jpg   

Summary: Jeff confronts his fears

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Act 3, Scene 1[]

Script

Featuring: Jeff
Setting: Library, Group Study Room F.

[It's late and an exterior shot of Greendale Library cuts to Jeff alone in the study room. He is standing in front of the study table and staring absently at it as his thoughts are somewhere else]

Act 3, Scene 2[]

Script

Featuring: Jeff, Annie and Sebastian
Setting: Jeff's apartment.

Jeff: Annie I'm home.

Annie: Hey there. How was your day? Did anything funny happen?

Jeff: Who cares. How was your day?

Annie: Good. Sebastian did some drawing. Sebastian?

Jeff: Let's look at them. Sebastian.

Jeff: Sebastian. Back to your child area. Aw, I love you.

( Jeff leans in to Annie fir a kiss but she turns away )

Jeff: Are you okay?

Annie: Is this really what you want?

Jeff: Of course. I mean, I'd be fine with a dog too. But, whatever you want.

Annie: Do you have any idea what I want?

Jeff: ...Yes?

Act 3, Scene 3[]

Script

Featuring: Jeff and Annie
Setting: Group Study Room F.

Jeff: How'd you get in here?

Annie: I pulled the spare key so the dean would stop leaving them under the welcome mat. You left weirdly.

Jeff: Well, there's no normal way to do anything now.

Annie: Yeah. You're gonna be fine, you know.

Jeff: I don't wanna be fine. I wanna be 25 and heading out into the world. I wanna fall asleep on a beach and be able to walk the next day, or stay up all night on accident. I wanna wear a t-shirt without looking like I forgot to get dressed. I want to be terrified of AIDS, I want to have an opinion about those, boring ass Marvel movies. And I want those opinions to be of any concern to the people making them.

Annie: Well I want to live in the same home for more than a year, order wine without feeling nervous, have a resume full of crazy mistakes instead of crazy lies. I want stories and wisdom, perspective. I wanna have so much behind me I'm not a slave to what's in front of me, especially these flavorless unremarkable Marvel movie.

Jeff: They are so not a big deal!

Abed: I know!

Jeff: It’s just all there is!

Annie: Yes, and you get to say that! I could screw myself if I say it, but there's pressures on me you don't have to live under, if you accept that you're older. And let the kid stuff go.

Jeff: I let you go, Annie. From my hands and my head. The heart, which cynics say is code for penis, wants what it wants. But I let you go.

Annie: The others are coming. I think you should kiss me goodbye or you might regret it for the rest of your life.

Jeff: What about you?

Annie: Oh, I'll regret the kiss for a week, I'm in my 20s. Who cares?

( Jeff walks up to Annie and they share a brief kiss. As they finish the rest of The Save Greendale Committee enter the Library. )

Chang: O-o-o-o-oh!!! Are we interrupting?

Britta: Stop being gross!

Abed: Are you guys doing an unauthorized finale in here? Not cool.

Jeff: Abed, I know it gives you comfort to see everything through that metal lens, but we were just saying goodbye to the room.

Annie: For Season Six. Season seven, who knows? It’s out of our hands. Too many variables.

Abed: Cool. Cool, cool. Cool, cool. Cool. That was one cool for each season.

Chan’:Wait, do it again. I want to try something.

Abed: Cool. Cool, cool. Cool.

( Chang farts )

Abed: Cool, cool.

Chang: I farted during the fourth one. It’s an inside joke.

Jeff: I'm gonna miss you guys.

Frankie: Gay. You know what I think everybody should do, as a humble outsider that came in and nailed it? I think everyone should imagine their own personal version of season seven and not share it with anyone. And then maybe it'll come true.

Abed: No cutting to any of them. If you cut to it, it won't come true.

Act 3, Scene 4[]

Script

Featuring: Jeff, Brianna, Kaylee, Mackenzie, Hailey and Phoebe
Setting: Group Study Room F.

( Cut to Jeff's imagination. He is in the study room and seated at the table are five red-headed women. )

Jeff: You just stopped being a study group. I hereby pronounce you a community. Brianna, you're the driven idealist. Kaylee, you're the fiery passionate one. We might have a fun no strings and Mackenzie, the kooky nerdy one, and Hailey, the other nerdy one! You guys should be best friends and have pillow fights. And there's Phoebe, the wise one. No? You're nerdy too? Okay, and the rest of you are the redhead ones. And we're gonna have some pretty crazy times, and eventually you'll leave and be replaced by new ones. And that's something I'm equipped to handle now. I'm sort of the hero that way.

Act 3, Scene 5[]

Script

Featuring: Jeff, Britta, Annie, Abed, Frankie, Chang, Dean Pelton
Setting: Group Study Room F.

Chang: We can cut to them at home though, right? I mean by ourselves?

Abed: Sure.

Jeff: I love that I got to be with you guys.

Chang: Gay.

Jeff: You saved my life, and changed it forever.

Chang: Gay!

Jeff: Thank you.

Chang: I'm gay. I'm for real gay. I'm legit gay!

Act 3, Scene 6[]

Script

Featuring: Jeff, Annie and Abed
Setting: Airport


[Jeff is driving his Lexus to the airport with Abed and Annie as his passengers. As Jeff parks the car at the entrance, the song "Ends of the Earth" plays in the background]

Oh, there's a river that winds on forever I'm gonna see where it leads.

Oh, there's a mountain that no man has mounted I'm gonna stand on the peak.

[Annie, Abed and Jeff get out of the car. Jeff retrieves his friends luggage from the trunk.]

Out there's a land that time don't command.

Wanna be the first to arrive.

[Jeff tosses Abed his bag and hands Annie her luggage. He leans in and gives her a quick kiss and a hug.]

No time for ponderin' why I'm a-wanderin.

Nowhere the buses lay.

[Jeff turns to Abed and gives him a hug as well. He then gives Abed a longer second hug.]

To the ends, to the ends would you follow me?

There's a world that was meant for us to see.

To the ends of the earth would you follow me?

[Annie and Abed head inside the airport. Annie looks back at Jeff and waves goodbye. Jeff watches them leave for a moment before getting back inside his car.]

Act 3, Scene 7[]

Script

Featuring: Jeff, Brita, Frankie, Chang and Dean Pelton
Setting: The Vatican


[Fade into The Vatican where the instrumental version of "Ends of the Earth" is playing.]

[Chang is laughing while seated at a table alongside Dean Pelton and Frankie.]

[Jeff enters the establishment where Britta greets him from the bar and grabs drinks for them.]

[Jeff and Britta join their friends at the tables and they all toast together.]

Britta: This is the show.

Chang: Right!

[The scene fades to black with the words #andamovie appears]

End Tag[]

Script

Featuring: Dad, Mom, Son, Daughter and Narrator
Setting: House

Narrator: Community! The hit show is now a hit board game!

Daughter: More like an I'm bored game.

Father: Shut up, Leonard. You look like a German puppet maker and smell like the inside of a church.

Narrator: Blah, blah, blah commercial video describing the rules of gameplay.

Son: I like you, Leonard. As a friend.

Mom: Ooh. Sorry Britta, but that friendship just got a benefit.

Narrator: Collect all the other players' identities and be the first to figure out if the game is part of the show or...

Father: I got it. The whole show is happening inside this game.

Son: Then explain this.

Daughter: What is it?

Father: It's a script of a fake commercial at the end of season six, starring this family.

Son: Sorry, dad. Guess I win.

Father: You stupid child. Nobody's winning anything. Don't you see? This means we don't exist. We're not created by God, we're created by a joke. We were never born, and we will never actually live.

Narrator: Dice not included. Some assembly required. Lines between perception, desire, and reality may become blurred, redundant, or interchangeable. Characters may hook up with no regard for your emotional investment. Some episodes too conceptual to be funny. Some too funny to be immersive, and some so immersive they still aren't funny. Consistency between seasons may vary. Viewers may be measured by a secretive obsolete system based on selected participants keeping handwritten journals of what they watch. Show may be cancelled and moved to the Internet, where it turns out tens of millions were watching the whole time, may not matter. Fake commercial may end with disclaimer gag which may descend into vain Chuck Lorre-esque rant by narcissistic creator. Creator may be unstable. Therapist may have told creator this is not how you make yourself a good person. Life may pass by while we ignore or mistreat those close to us. Those close to us may be those watching. Those people may want to know I love them, nut I may be incapable of saying it. Contains pieces the size of a child's esophagus.

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