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Officer Cackowski
OFFICER CACKOWSKI
Portrayed by: CRAIG CACKOWSKI
First appearance: "The Politics of Human Sexuality"
Last appearance: "Grifting 101"
Occupation: POLICE OFFICER (Former part-time Greendale campus security guard)
Reason for visit: INVESTIGATE CAMPUS SHENANINGANS
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“
Fact: in 100% of all fake gun shootings, the victim is always the one with the fake gun.
”
Officer Cackowski, "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"



Officer Cackowski
Portrayed by
Craig Cackowski
Officer Cackowski is a police officer who is often called in to investigate various shenanigans that take place at Greendale Community College. He is partners with Officer Hancock and appears to be close friends with the drama professor, Professor Sean Garrity. He has a wry and jaded disposition and is unsurprised at the ridiculous nature of the types of "crimes" he is called on to investigate. His first actual appearance was moonlighting as a Greendale campus security guard in the Season One episode "The Politics of Human Sexuality". His first appearance as a police officer was in "The Science of Illusion". He is portrayed by Craig Cackowski.



Character History

Season One

In the study group's first year at school, Cackowski was moonlighting as a security guard at Greendale. One night he caught Annie, Shirley and Britta who were trying to break into Dean Pelton's office to get a good look at an anatomically correct mannequin that was in there for the STD Fair. He held them there for interrogation by Dean and Gail the student counselor. Gail hoped to diffuse the awkwardness of the situation by having everyone say the word "penis". Cackowski quickly pointed out that Annie didn't say it and she refused stating she was comfortable being a prude. After she finished her speech, Cackowski didn't bother trying to stop her when she marched out of the office ("The Politics of Human Sexuality").



S01E11-Cackowski pointing
Cackowski pointing at Annie for not saying "penis".
On Greendale's Family Day event he was called in to deal with the aftermath of a physical altercation between Ben Chang and Pierce Hawthorne over a simple misunderstanding of a Pictionary clue. Once the interviews were over, Pierce's Pictionary partners Jeff and his former step daughter Amber claimed they were going to get some coffee. Pierce questioned if "coffee" was a code word for sex which they vehemently denied. A skeptical Cackowski then chimed in and asked if that was truly the case ("Basic Genealogy").



S01E18-Cackowski Jeff and Amber
Is "coffee" code for sex?
He was next seen on campus in his actual job as a police officer alongside his partner Officer Hancock. They were investigating what appeared to be a bizarre April Fool's joke on campus involving a cadaver being flung from the second story of the science lab. Hancock and Cackowski assured Dean Pelton that the incident wouldn't affect the school's reputation which was already bad. They were interrupted by the arrival of a campus patrol cart that was driven by volunteer student security guards Annie Edison and Shirley Bennett. They marched up to the two officers and after introducing themselves tried to claim jurisdiction. Amused by their antics, Cackowski and his partner allowed them to take over the investigation since it was only a misdemeanor crime ("The Science of Illusion").



S01E20-Cackowski and Dean
Let me know if you find a perp.

Season Two

During the study group's second year together at Greendale, Cackowski's returned to deal with a mysterious Halloween party in the library ("Epidemiology"). He is later asked by his friend Professor Sean Garrity to help teach Dean Pelton, Jeff and Annie a lesson on the proper use of prop guns ("Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design").



S02E06-Cackowski and Dean 2nd Halloween
You remember nothing past your decision to be Lady Gaga?

Season Three

In the study group's third year at school he is called to Troy and Abed's apartment for a breaking and entering incident there which saw Abed's prize special edition "Dark Knight" DVD having been stolen ("Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"). Towards the end of the school year he returns to the apartment with Abed who, along with the rest of the study group, had been expelled from Greendale and had been trespassing on school grounds ("Curriculum Unavailable"). He is called again to the apartment when the study group tries to convince him that Ben Chang had replaced Dean Pelton with an imposter. He is unbelieving of their claims and warns them to stay away from the school ("First Chang Dynasty").



S03E21-Cackowski singing
Love is not admissible evidence!

Season Six

Now on the study group committee's sixth year, Cackowski is called to investigate the leaking of the Greendale's staff e-mails, alongside his partner Warburton. He finds a message by the hackers demanding a show the school booked to be cancelled, and eventually discovers the culprit, Ryan (aka "StringCheeseHustler" or "CaptainTitty"). He also seems disappointed by the remaining founding members of the committee holding him at arm's length despite having known him for five years ("Basic Email Security"). Later, he returns to Greendale, off duty (as he takes macrame at Greendale after work), when the committee grifts the grifting professor Roger DeSalvo, and reveals the reason he became a cop is his mentally challenged cousin ("You know, lot of bullies out there") ("Grifting 101").



Cackowski bringing in the string cheese hustler.

Trivia

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