 The-the paintball game was-was-was starting and then the Dean-the Dean announced the prize...THE PRIZE...we-we turned on each other like ANIMALS!
 |
| — Garrett, "Modern Warfare". |
The Paintball Assassin games are annual competition events held towards the end of the school year at Greendale Community College. A prize is given to the winner of the contest which normally has great value to the students (with the exception of the time when the prize was simply tickets to see a musical) . The Paintball game first appeared in the Season One episode "Modern Warfare" and made subsequent appearances in the Season Two episodes "A Fistful of Paintballs" and "For A Few Paintballs More", in a flashback from the Season Three episode "Curriculum Unavailable", in a daydream from the Season Four episode "Advanced Introduction to Finality" and finally in the Season Six episode "Modern Espionage".
History[]
Season One[]
| “ | Everyone's playing! | ” |
–Leonard, "Modern Warfare". | ||
In the study group's first year together at Greendale, Dean Pelton announced a paintball contest was to be held with a prize to be announced later. Jeff was uninterested and annoyed at being grilled about his relationship with Britta. He left to go sleep in his car only to awaken an hour later to find the campus desolate. At the library he encountered a panic stricken Garrett and was chased by a paintball gun wielding Leonard. Jeff was saved by Abed and joined him and Troy in an alliance after learning the prize was Priority registration. The trio eventually reunited with the rest of the study group. However, battles with the Glee Club and "Disco Stu"'s roller skaters whittle the group down. Only Jeff and Britta were left as the two get swept up in the moment and consummated their relationship. In order to prevent anyone from actually winning the prize, Dean Pelton sent an experienced paintball player Ben Chang to finish off the remaining students. His final targets were Jeff and Britta who he tracked down in the study room. He engaged Britta in a one-on-one paintball gun duel which resulted in them both being eliminated. Jeff won by default and armed with Chang's paintball gun, went to the Dean's office to claim his prize.
Game participants[]
Order of eliminations[]
| Placing | Image | Name | How They Got Out | Location |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1st - champion |  |
Jeff Winger | Last one standing | Dean's office |
| =2nd |   |
Ben Chang, Britta Perry | Hit each other simultaneously | Study room |
| 4th |  |
Abed Nadir | Shot in the legs by Roller Skaters | Cafeteria |
| 5th
6th |
 |
2 Roller Skaters | Both shot by Abed Nadir | Cafeteria |
| =7th
9th |
 |
Disco Stu
2 Roller Skaters |
2 eliminated by Britta and one by Jeff | Cafeteria |
| 10th |  |
Shirley Bennett | Shot in the back by a Roller Skater | Cafeteria |
| 11th
12th 13th 14th |
 |
Four Disco Roller Skaters | Jeff Winger
Abed Nadir Shirley Bennett (x2) |
Cafeteria |
| 15th
16th 17th |
 |
Glee Club (3 members) | Shot at by the Study Group | Outdoor plaza |
| 18th |  |
Pierce Hawthorne | Eliminated by the Glee Club | Outdoor plaza |
| 19th |  |
Annie Edison | Eliminated by the Glee Club | Outdoor Plaza |
| 20th |  |
Troy Barnes | Eliminated by the Glee Club | Outdoor plaza |
| 21th |  |
Alex "Star-Burns" Osbourne | Pierce Hawthorne | Cafeteria |
| 22th
23th 24th |
 |
Chess Club (3 members) | Abed Nadir
Jeff Winger Troy Barnes |
Stairwell |
| 25th |  |
Leonard Briggs | Eliminated by Abed Nadir | Hallway |
| 26th |  |
Garrett Lambert | Unknown (possibly Leonard) | Entrance |
Season Two[]
| “ | That was a game. This is paintball. | ” |
A second paintball tournament was sponsored by Pistol Patty's Cowboy Creamery. This time, the game had a western theme and Paintball pistol were used in place of the paintball guns from last year. The winner was to receive $100,000 dollars and the students once again trashed the campus to win the prize. With paintball ammo supplies dwindling, the study group finds a cache of last year's previous paintball gun's and paraphernalia in the Dean's office. When the true sponsor of the game is revealed to be Dean Spreck from City College, the remaining Greendale participants of the game band together in an alliance to face off against the invading City College Storm Troopers. Abandoning the pistols, they use the paintball guns found in Pelton's office for the remainder of the conflict. Troy took command of a covert team to lure some of the City College troopers into a trap in the library. Jeff led a squad of students on a suicide assault the Paintball gatling gun on the campus quad.
Game participants[]
The Greendale Seven (Abed, Annie, Britta, Jeff, Pierce, Troy and Shirley), Mike Chilada and his gang, Eric, Pavel, Magnitude, Cheerleading Club, Ben Chang, Math Club, Vicky, Garrett, Leonard, Star-Burns and Dean Pelton.
City College Storm Troopers, The Black Rider, Dean Spreck
Order of eliminations (for the purposes of this list, the Stormtroopers will be counted as one player)[]
| Place | Image | Name | How They Got Out | Location |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1st - Champion | |
Pierce Hawthorne | Last one standing | Outdoor plaza |
| 2nd |  |
City College Stormtroopers | Last 2 were shot by Pierce, pretending to be one of them | Outdoor plaza |
| 3rd | |
Shirley Bennett | Shot by a Stormtrooper | Outdoor plaza |
| 4th | |
Britta Perry | Shot by a Stormtrooper | Outdoor plaza |
| 5th |  |
Leonard Rodriguez | Shot by a Stormtrooper | Outdoor plaza |
| =6th | |
Abed Nadir, Annie Edison, Garrett Lambert | Eliminated along with many Stormtroopers by the paint sprinklers | Library |
| 9th | |
Troy Barnes | Shot many, many times by Stormtroopers | Library |
| 10th | |
Alex "Star-Burns" Osbourne | Shot by a Stormtrooper | Library |
| 11th |  |
Vicki | Shot by a Stormtrooper | Outdoor plaza |
| 12th |  |
Quendra | Shot by a Stormtrooper | Outdoor plaza |
| 13th | |
Jeff Winger | Shot by a Stormtrooper | Outdoor plaza |
| 14th | Unknown student | Shot by some Stormtroopers | Kitchen | |
| 15th |  |
Magnitude | Sacrificed himself by jumping on to a paint grenade | Anthropology classroom |
| 16th |  |
Eric Wisinewski | Bombarded by Stormtroopers | Hallway outside of the Dean's office |
| 17th | |
Ben Chang | Eliminated by the Stormtroopers' gatling gun | Parking lot |
| 18th |  |
The Black Rider | Eliminated by Pierce after the latter faked a heart attack | Cafeteria |
| 19th |  |
Dean Craig Pelton | Offscreen, possibly earlier, shot multiple times | Dean's office |
| 20th-25th |  |
Cheerleaders (6 members) | All eliminated by Annie | Storage closet |
| 26th |  |
Pavel Iwaszkiewicz | Chased down and shot by the Black Rider | Hallway outside of the study room |
| 27th-29th |  |
Math Club (3 members) | Eliminated by Abed | Library |
| 30th |  |
Neil | Eliminated by Annie after he attempted to betray her | Hallway |
| 31th-33th |  |
Mike Chilada & 2 Cronies | Eliminated by Annie, first on-screen elimination | Hallway |
Season Three[]
| “ | Dammit out of slugs! Next time I'll put you square you pickle sucking mcgillicutty! | ” |
| Abed is sent to see a psychologist and upon reminiscing about the past year, it is shown that they housed another paintball game which was done in a Noir theme in which Pierce is once again the Bad Guy, Abed is saved by the Dean (dressed as Velma from Chicago) which is one of the scenes that reminds the group that the Dean is in their corner ("Curriculum Unavailable"). |  |
Winner: Abed (?)
Prize: Tickets to the musical "Chicago" at Greendale Civic Center.
Season Four[]
In the study group's fourth year at Greendale, Jeff had earned enough credits to graduate early. He had some trepidations about leaving his life at Greendale and returning to his career as a lawyer. These fears led to Jeff having a daydream involving the Evil Study Group crossing over from the Darkest Timeline to the real world. In his imagination both versions were armed with hi-tech paintball weaponry that could teleport people to the parallel "evil" world. Jeff's scenario had both versions of the study group having a paintball showdown in the cafeteria. Once the battle was over the evil doppelgängers were all vanquished back to their reality. Jeff snapped out of his daydream which helped him to overcome his fears over leaving Greendale and his friends ("Advanced Introduction to Finality").
Game participants[]
Prime timeline
The Study Group (Abed, Annie, Britta, Jeff, Troy and Shirley) with the exception of Pierce; Ben Chang (accidental victim).
The Evil Study Group (Evil Jeff, Evil Annie, Evil Britta, Evil Troy, Evil Shirley, Evil Pierce) with the exception of Evil Abed; Evil Faux-by (involuntarily).
Order of eliminations[]
- Abed (teleported away by Evil Jeff, subsequently returns)
- Chang (teleported away by Evil Jeff while taking the bullet for Jeff)
- Evil Faux-by (teleported away by Abed)
- Evil Pierce (teleported away by himself)
- Evil Britta (teleported away by herself)
- Evil Shirley (teleported away by Shirley)
- Evil Annie (teleported away by Annie)
- Evil Troy (teleported away by Troy)
- Evil Jeff (teleported away by Jeff)
Season Six[]
In the 2014-2015 semester at Greendale, paintball was banned on the Greendale campus due to a new initiative spearheaded by the school's consultant Frankie Dart. Evidence surfaced that an underground paintball tournament had been organized due to incidents occurring like Starburns and Todd battle in the parking garage. Frankie pleaded with Jeff to use his influence as the unofficial BMOC of Greendale to put an end to the illegal contest. Jeff tried to get the rest of the committee onboard but learned they were competing as well. It was only after Abed pointed out that City College was covertly sponsoring the contest and the prize money that everyone agreed to unravel the conspiracy.
They started by investigating the rival university's undercover agent "Silverballz" and discovered he was going to strike at the black tie gala event Frankie put together. After Dean Pelton narrowly avoided bring eliminated he discovered that the Greendale custodians were in cahoots with City College. They were led by Lapari whose men charged the cafeteria and opened fire. Once the battle was over, only Lapari, Jeff and Dean Pelton were left still in the game. A Mexican stand-off occurred which was interrupted by Frankie who convinced Lapari of her good intentions and that he wouldn't be fired over the incident. The competition officially ended when Lapari, Pelton and Winger shot each other at the same time. As they had all been eliminated simultaneously, none of them received the prize money ("Modern Espionage").
Game participants[]
Save Greendale Committee (Jeff, Abed, Annie, Britta and Elroy) with the exception of Frankie; Lapari and the custodial staff, the cafeteria staff, Dean Pelton, Ben Chang, Todd, Star-Burns, various Greendale students and guests at the gala.
Order of eliminations[]
| Place | Image | Name | How They Got Out | Location |
| =1st |  |
Dean Craig Pelton, Deputy Custodian Lapari,Jeff Winger | Simultaneously shot each other | Greendale's Museum of Custodial Arts |
| 4th | |
Abed Nadir | Shot by a custodian | "Clean Up Greendale" Gala |
| 5th | |
Britta Perry | Shot by a custodian | "Clean Up Greendale" Gala |
| 6th |  |
Elroy Patashnik | Shot by a custodian | "Clean Up Greendale" Gala |
| 7th | |
Annie Edison | Shot by a custodian | "Clean Up Greendale" Gala |
| 8th-
≈50th |
Everyone at the Gala | Shot by a custodian or member of the Study Group | "Clean Up Greendale" Gala | |
| ≈51st | Disabled Man | Mistakenly shot by Jeff Winger | "Clean Up Greendale" Gala | |
| ≈52nd-
≈56th |
Elevator Goons | Shot by Dean Pelton | Elevator | |
| ≈57th-
≈62nd |
Kitchen Staff | Shot by Britta Perry or Elroy Patashnik | Kitchen | |
| ≈63th |  |
Preston Koogler | Shot by Lapari | Hallway |
| ≈64th
≈65th ≈66th |
3 unnamed students | Shot by Jeff after attempting to raid the Study room | Study room | |
| ≈67th | Student Jeff | Shot by Jeff after attempting to sneak up on him | Study room | |
| ≈68th | |
Ben Chang | Shot by every member of the Study Group except Jeff | Study room |
| ≈69th
≈70th |
 |
Alex "Star-Burns" Osbourne, Todd Jacobson | Shot by Lapari | Parking garage |
Trivia[]
- You'll note few or no student uses protective gear. In reality getting hit by a paintball can hurt, and serious injury can be cause by getting hit in the wrong spot. Professionals recommend protective gear. [1]
- The commentaries for first season reveal they used low velocity paintball guns and that they were shot by professionals. The actor who plays Garrett was scared of being shot and Alison Brie really got shot in the boob with a black and blue mark to show.
- From second season onward most of the shots were done in post-production. This was as much speeding up production as it was about safety.
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