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Portrayed by: Drew Carey
First appearance: "Accounting for Lawyers"
Home town: Greeendale County
Occupation: Laywer, Head of the Law Firm of Hamish, Hamish & Hamlin
Reason for visit: Jeff Winger


You know when I became a lawyer I had a dream. I had a dream that one day I'd be head of a firm, so that no one would be able to talk about the big weird hole in my hand.
— Ted, "Accounting for Lawyers".

Ted portrayed by Drew Carey.
Ted is (was?) the head of the law firm Hamish, Hamish & Hamlin that used to employ Jeff before his disbarment. Although affable and self-deprecating, he is known to be a formidable attorney in his own right. Jeff truly respected and admired Ted, and the feeling was shown to be mutual. In the Season Three episode "Introduction to Finality", Alan reveals to Jeff that Ted died while swimming with sharks; it is unclear whether or not this is true considering the source. His first and so far only onscreen appearance was in the Season Two episode "Accounting for Lawyers". He is portrayed by comedian/actor Drew Carey.

Character history[]

In Jeff's second year at Greendale, he ran into his Hamish, Hamish and Hamish colleague Alan Conner and got invited to an office party. It's there that he reunited with his former boss Ted who was actually happy to see him. Despite Jeff's scandalous termination, Ted still had much respect for him due to his past work at the firm. The feeling was mutual as Jeff admired Ted, particularly how he could easily command the attention of the room. This was demonstrated when Ted used the hole in his hand to entertain the party attendees. Alan then confessed to Jeff he hoped to exploit their bond by having him talk to Ted about making him partner.

AFL A hole in one hand
The hole.
While Ted appreciated his work for the firm his disdain of Alan's attitude made him veto any idea of climbing the ranks at the firm. Alan tried to interject himself into a private conversation Ted and Jeff were having at the bar but left sensing his presence was unwanted. Ted revealed to Jeff his dislike of Alan when the subject of his promotion was broached. Jeff countered that personal opinions don't matter, it's only the results that do. He told the story of when he was a child and was awestruck by his father's divorce attorney. He was a professional who didn't let personal matters get to him, did his job and was handsomely rewarded for it.

This inspired him to become a lawyer himself and adopt the same principles. Jeff compartmentalized his own personal feelings and did whatever it took to succeed as attorney. He then brought up Alan and how despite his sleazy personality he was an asset to the firm who deserved a promotion. Ted was moved by Jeff's argument and complimented him for his still effective powers of persuasion. The two shook hands which caused a suction sound when their grip released due to the hole in Ted's hand. Along with giving Alan the promotion he also offered Jeff some part time work at the firm as a consultant ("Accounting for Lawyers").

2X2 I want to eat your brains
Ted watches Alan suck up.