Plot
 By the way, now that I've got a good look at one, I don't see what all the fuss was about. A giant thumb in a turtleneck, Whoop-dee-do!
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| — Annie |
| Annie and Dean Pelton are outside the cafeteria handing out flyers for the school's STD fair. She gives one to Troy who fails to toss the crumpled paper into a trash can. When Abed successfully makes the shot with his own flyer Troy challenges him to a basketball game. Meanwhile, Jeff and Britta head towards the cafeteria ignoring Annie and Pelton. Jeff suddenly becomes interested in what they are promoting when he sees Pelton has an attractive new secretary named Sabrina. He invites her to join him and Britta for breakfast but the cafeteria is shut down in preparation for the fair. Later in the study room, Pierce tells Jeff about his new girlfriend Doreen. Troy arrives to the meeting alongside Abed who he just lost a basketball game to.
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| Britta, Shirley and Annie show up right after and are excited by Pierce's news until they find out that his girlfriend is an escort. Jeff declines an invitation to join Pierce and Doreen at the STD fair and is annoyed when it's suggested he couldn't find a date on short notice. Afterwards, Annie is praised by Dean Pelton for the work she's put into the fair. He tells her she's been given the honor of demonstrating how to put a condom on using an anatomically correct mannequin. Outside of the library, Britta sees Jeff calling various female acquaintances on his cell phone. Jeff admits he has hit a dry spell and has been unable to convince anyone to go with him to the fair.
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| Britta notices she's on the list but is identified by the description "Hot Blonde Spanish Class". She points out his entire contact list is this way and his immature view towards women is why he's having problems. Britta leaves to go to the study room to meet with Shirley when Annie interrupts them. Annie tells them about the demonstration and that although she's had sex she's never actually seen a penis. She doesn't want anyone to know how inexperienced she is and asks her friends to help her break into Dean Pelton's office so she can practice on the mannequin. That night, Jeff meets Pierce at the STD fair and lies that he didn't bother trying to find a date. Bothered by Pierce pitying him, Jeff uses information he got from Dean Pelton to win over his assistant Sabrina.
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| Also at the fair is Troy who has been losing to Abed in various contests. Troy demands that they arm wrestle but Abed beats him at that too. Over at the administrations office, Annie, Shirley and Britta manage to break in. Before they can get into Dean Pelton's office they are caught by Officer Cackowski. Back at the fair, Jeff is impressed with Doreen's sophistication. When Sabrina goes to the bathroom and Pierce leaves to get more drinks, Doreen questions Jeff choice for a date. She points out how shallow Sabrina is and suggests he could do better. Jeff respects Doreen's opinion but replies he's not looking for anything more substantial at the moment. When their dates return, Jeff takes Sabrina to look at his Lexus and Doreen tells Pierce their date is over and he has to pay if he wants it to continue.
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| Elsewhere, Dean Pelton laments serving alcohol at the event as it's making the attendees more amorous. When Cackowski shows up and informs him about the break in, Pelton goes to his office to confront the culprits. As the crime involves a sensitive subject matter he has school counselor Gail to advise him and office worker Monique to transcribe the interrogation. To defuse the awkwardness Gail suggests they all say 'penis' and everyone but Annie does so. After being singled out by Cackowski and Gail, Annie declares that she is comfortable with her sexual repression and storms out. In the campus parking lot, Jeff and Sabrina are in the Lexus making out but he gets turned off by how immature she is and leaves.
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| Meanwhile, Troy forces Abed into yet another contest but this time his friend lets him win in a footrace. At the fair Dean discovers that printing words on all the condoms for the STD Fair causes them to leak. He asks Troy, as the school's best athlete, to run to the office to make an announcement warning the students. Troy admits that Abed is a better athlete and has his friend race to the office instead. Inside the caefeteria, Jeff joins Pierce and admits he couldn't have sex with Sabrina. Pierce tells him that his tastes are changing and that he's now looking for something more meaningful in a relationship. He then asks Jeff of he can borrow some money do he could continue his date with Doreen. Jeff complies and then pulls out his cell phone to changes Britta's contact description to her actual name. He then hears Abed announcing on the public address system to not use condoms if they have sex.
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End tag
Abed reads from a Life Science textbook to Troy, who has fallen asleep on the study room sofa. Abed tucks him in with his letterman jacket and turns out the light. As he leaves, Troy asks for a glass of water.
Recurring themes
Continuity:
- This must be the place: The student lounge, Group Study Room F, Dean Pelton's office, the cafeteria and the Campus courtyard are all seen in this episode.
- A sweet ride: Jeff and Sabrina make out in his Lexus.
- Middle Eastern Magic 8 Ball: As Abed warns about the defective condoms on the PA, a couple in the background hears him and throws away the condom they are holding. This is possibly the same couple Abed helps to deliver a baby nine months later in the Season Two episode "The Psychology of Letting Go".
- School uniform: Troy's letterman jacket is used by Abed to tuck Troy in during the end tag.
Running gags:
- Attention students!: Abed uses the public address system to warn everybody about the defective condoms.
- Biggest laugh of the night: Pierce spills Doreen's "STD-ini" on the floor while sitting down.
- My other half: Troy says that Abed is difficult to guard in basketball because his "eyes are too gentle and mysterious".
- Nice outfit: Dean Pelton wears a STD Fair T-shirt without changing out of his dress shirt and tie.
- WWBJD: Shirley tells Annie to be proud of being a virgin.
Pop culture references:
- Shout out:
- Shirley mentions Harvey Keitel in an unsavory light.
- Jeff casually tells Sabrina that he listens to Jay-Z.
- Name that tune:
- "Whistle for the Choir" by The Fratellis is heard during the conversation between Jeff and Pierce towards the end of the episode, and when Jeff changes his contact "Hot Blonde Spanish Class" to "Britta" on his phone.
- Annie had relations with her high school boyfriend while listening to Madonna's Erotica.
- IMDb:
- When Troy wants to armwrestle, Abed channels Sylvester Stallone in Over the Top, mimicking the backwards hat and trademark finger roll of Stallone's character.
- Both Officer Cackowski and Dean Pelton use the term "reverse Porky's" when the trio of Annie, Britta and Shirley attempt to break into the Dean's Office.
- Doreen comments on Sabrina's youth: "She thinks that Monty Python is the evil snake from Harry Potter."
Meta references:
- IRL: Annie's account of intercourse with her high-school boyfriend is strikingly similar to an incident from Alison Brie's college days.
Trivia
- Some of the games that can be seen at the STD Fair include "Wheel of Remorse", "Whack an STD", "Toss STDs!", "Flip it Good!" and "What Can Really Happen?".
- Abed is wearing a hat with "STD-fense" on it.
Quotes
- “Sabrina is my new secretary.”— Dean Pelton
- “'Secretary' is a little degrading to women. I help the Dean do office-y things.”— Sabrina
- “Oh, gender saved.”— Britta
- “You know the toilets in the women's bathrooms don't have seats, right?”— Britta
- “Because they keep getting stolen. Sabrina, take a note: I want hidden cameras in every stall.”— Dean Pelton
- “Problem solved.”— Britta
- “This is a lot of outgoing calls: Car Wash Redhead, Tube Top R.E.M. Concert, Juror #6--that sounds above board--at least you have Mommy in here.”— Britta
- “That's not my mom.”— Jeff
- “Dude, not cool.”— Britta
- “I am not a unicorn. I had relations with my high school boyfriend. We did it to Madonna's Erotica on the floor of his walk-in closet, but he wouldn't let me look at 'it'. He cried after. And during. He's gay now.”— Annie
- “I think he was gay then.”— Britta
| Season One Episodes | ||
|---|---|---|
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1. "Pilot" |
14. "Interpretive Dance" |
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| Season One • Season Two • Season Three • Season Four • Season Five • Season Six | ||
